I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
