I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize