I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
