went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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