..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
