i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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