Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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