Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
