So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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