i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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