people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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