oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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