in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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