Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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