Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
