went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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