my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
