I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
