Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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