The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
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in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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