What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So many bounce houses so little time
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
being pregnant is like rehab
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
