He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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