THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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