so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
