When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
