found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
