I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
