I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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