My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize