Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
