Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
