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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
