Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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