i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
