Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
