Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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