If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
