I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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