help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
