It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
