we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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