weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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