We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
