We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
