this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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