; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
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Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
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I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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