Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't think brook has ever known best
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
