I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
