I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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