It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
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Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
These tits shall not be calmed
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