Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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