Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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