just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
