Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
