I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
