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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  If I go to jail what happens to my debt?

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  You dont have to pay it.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to jail.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.

  Fav 12 4496 1230

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• (409): View more from Texas

  The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before

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• (61): View more from Australia

  When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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• (+35): View more from

  Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.

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