She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
