he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
