Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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